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| I am a small fish in a small pond. This has been my station in life. I have been accepting of this 'ranking', by not pushing the status quo, by stepping outside my comfort zone as little as possible, and by avoiding risks of all shapes and sizes. It is amazing to me that Jennifer likes me, let alone loves me! I'm a real nowhere man.
Why is it that I get a desire to go beyond who I am by watching Death Race? What's up with that? I didn't even watch the movie in one sitting. And while I'm at it, why do the High School Musical movies bring me near to tears? Regret? Perhaps.
I don't regret where I am, who I'm with, or the friends I keep. But sometimes I regret the inaction I have taken over the years. I'm feeling old. When I look back, I see missed potential and opportunities. Why have I been shy? Why have I had no self-confidence? Why did I not take some calculated risks?
So now, here I am gracefully flapping my fins as I coast around inside my small pond. Some people love me, some people like me, and my imagination fills in all the haters. From my front porch I watch the busy people race by with their blinders on. Should I care what they would think of me IF they knew I existed? If I took a chance, would I become a bigger fish? Would people stand up and take notice? I see the bigger fish around here.
That's right! I see you bigger fish swimming around out there. Some of you were born into bigness, some have won bigness, and others have been brave and become bigger by stealing the bait from the hook and living to tell the tale. Do you look down on us smaller fish with disdain? Or is it pity? Or is it just idle curiosity? Or maybe something I couldn't possibly fathom?
How about taking a chance, Shawn? Wouldn't it be nice to stop imagining importance by becoming important? What would that feel like? Would I feel more? To become a bigger fish in my small pond. What do I have to offer my pond that no one else has?
Why don't I just stop questioning the questions? Just do. Just BE the bigger fish. Stand out by being myself on a bigger scale.
Why don't I just get my license to fish?
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| It is way too warm for me today. I knew I was going to suffer after the air conditioning at work. More like conditioning Shawn to prefer cooler climes. I'm very droopy-eyed now. Want to just nap.
Someone came over to tell us what is in our flower gardens and such tonight...
Screw this, I'm not in the mood.
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| Jennifer has been planning a 'block party' to take place at our home. The plan is to leave a hand-out at every door. We don't expect too many neighbours to show up. However, we've invited plenty of friends and family to fill the gaps. 
As the day gets closer, I'm starting to think more about it, and what will be required of us. The centre of our thoughts had been primarily around inviting guests and preparing to have enough BBQ stuff. Now, I've started to think about some of the other stuff, such as... a large coffee pot, paper plates and utensils, tables, napkins, cups, garbage cans, snacks, etc.
We already have a propane BBQ thanks to our friends (wedding gift). Jennifer has been talking for over a year about her father's smoker. So recently, we acquired two smokers... a brand new water and charcoal vertical smoker, and a 2nd-hand vertical electric smoker. We look forward to trying both out. We also have two 2nd-hand canopy tents, which will no doubt come in handy. 
We still need to figure out where we're going to get all the meat. AND, how much we'll need, as we have no idea what kind of turnout there will be. It will all be fun, no matter what.
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| Here it is, the last day of my current vacation. Can't complain about the weather. Before my time off work began, the forecasts were for a real mixed bag of weather, both wet and dry. In the end, the wet has been relatively minimal. It has been a little hot at times, but I'm not complaining.
Today, I cut the lawn, ran out of gas, then finished cutting the lawn. I weeded the dandelions out of a garden beside the driveway, then attempted to transplant some forget-me-nots to that space.
I re-installed the car seat for Paisley. I organized the garage in a miniscule way. Took my bicycle for a spin around the block.
We all drove to the beach in Charlton, despite passing through some rainy spots on the way. It was much more interesting this year, as Paisley was a little more interested in going IN the water this time. We made her wear water wings, as all insane parents do. Much fun was had.
Now, I must depart... perhaps I will add more later. Right now, Pipsqueak is indicating a desire to go outside.
Shawn
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| It has certainly been a while since I've taken a serious look at this place. It has changed quite a bit... even took me a few moments to determine how to make a blog entry. Very fancy shmancy! (I always preferred to keep my blog display simple.)
I think I need to start blogging again... I don't imagine there are too many people monitoring my humble little offerings anymore.
I've been on vacation this week, and surprisingly, the weather has been good to me. I have nothing to complain about in that department. I have been suffering from clumsiness, however, and have been inflicting minor wounds and injuries. The worst so far has to have been when I accidentally put my hand in the kitchen ceiling fan. (ouch) I am typing with all my digits, so nothing has been severed. In fact, I think I did more damage to the fan. I think I've almost got it all bent back into shape...still has a little shimmy though. I feel so stupid.
We have a bumper crop of dandelions this year. Also, we have at least 3 varieties of thorny, spiky, ouchy thistles. And somewhere among all that weeding are many flower beds. Anyone want to come identify the good plants?
We've got some veggies planted out at the farm. I have to add some more carrots. Here in town, Jen has planted just a few veggies and they seem to be doing well. This is the only garden we've got where we know what is growing.
I went paintballing on Sunday. Had a good time. This was only the second time I've been out for such an activity. Last time being while at college, had a much better experience this time. Better gun, better equipment, better group, more knowledge... I would consider going again, but I doubt I'd ever go get all the equipment.
Anyhow, I must depart now and put the leftovers from supper away. Sweet dreams sweeties!
Shawn
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